Monday, July 5, 2010


This weekend I celebrated lots of new beginnings.  My sister, Bernadette, was married on Saturday to her college sweetheart.  The Deacon who performed the ceremony said something that has stuck with me all weekend.  "Genisis is not a moment in time but is happening every right now".   I love that! It applies to so many areas of my life such as my sister's wedding, the great new man in my life, my new job, and especially completing My Pink Goal. 

Every day when we take to the sidewalks, trails, and treadmills gensis happens.  Each day is a new day, a new beginning, to allow ourselves the opportunity to face each challenge head on.  We choose to put aside all that has distracted us from our training or caused stress in our day and start anew facing each of those individual miles with renewed hope and energy.  Each day we make a choice to love ourselves & others by training our bodies for this challenge, raising awareness for Komen, standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves.  With each race that we complete we raise awareness, education, and funds that allow others to have their own new beginnings.  That really is what achieving My Pink Goal is all about. 

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Summer's more fun when you feel good

It's July 1 &  a beautiful day in Fort of those rare low humidty days in the midwest that remind you how great summer can be.  I have always loved summer.  Spending time with family, summers on the lake, cookouts, great food, baseball, summer dresses, etc.  LOVE! LOVE! LOVE Summer! 

What I'm really loving about this summer is how much more I'm enjoying it because I'm healthier.  I still have a ways to go before I reach my goals, but am shocked at how much better this feels.  It's not just being physically healthier, it's the overall change in my outlook that seems to make things more enjoyable.  I honestly think I look at things different.  I actually don't mind sweating during my workouts...loosing my makeup due to it running down my face during a long summer walk...breathing heavy because I'm working to get my heart rate up...etc.  Those things used to make me miserable.  Now, I actually enjoy even shopping for workout clothes.  Who knew!??!? 

I'm even enjoying the benefits of meeting someone new this summer.  As many of you know, I'd pledged a "sabbactical" in the beginning of my journey from drinking and dating.  It made sense at the time, especially since I needed to get focused on my training.  As things have become more balanced I've been able to ease up on that a little bit.  While it's still very new, I am excited that I have met someone I really enjoy & really look forward to sharing the fun summer activities with.  Instead of backing away slowly once he heard about my training for the 3 Day, he's encouraging me & cheering for me.  It's pretty awesome.  I have no doubt feeling better about myself is allowing me to enjoy getting to know him even more.  I kind of like the unexpected effects working toward My Pink Goal is having & am looking forward to many more!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

3 Day training applies to all areas of my life

I must say that I'm so flattered and honored by the number of people who have contacted me asking about where I am in the process of completing My Pink Goal.  What a gift everyone is to me!  I've not quit training or quit working toward my goal.  I've been focused on that never ending juggling act...the one we all face...balancing work & family with my own personal goals.  I've given up thinking balance will ever be totally achieved & instead treat it like I treat my training, one step at a time. 

When I excepted my recent position as VP of the Chamber, I knew we had a lot of work ahead of us.  What I didn't know is how closely my work journey would mirror my pink goal journey.  Every time we take on a new project I find myself saying, "Well it's kinda like training for the 3 Day".  They're already sick of me I'm sure but it's true.  The lessons I'm learning in training now apply to every day life as well...lessons like having a plan, sharing your goals, setting realistic mini goals, cheering for yourself, loving yourself enough to know when to be gentle and when to push, etc. 

For those who are keeping tabs, I'm walking to work & finding ways to fit in walks wherever I can.  I owe myself a long walk in the near future but am currently up to about 10.5 miles with daily walks being 3-4 miles.  I've lost almost 55 pounds and feel GREAT!  I'm shocked at how much better I juggle everything and how much easier dealing with stress is when I have an outlet.  People often ask if I feel better & I admit I didn't know I felt bad.  Amazing how lost I was in being unhealthy & didn't even know it!  My feet are holding up well & I'm learning all of the great tips one needs for an endurance event.  On one of my long walks recently it finally connected with me that I really can do this.  I really am going to walk 60 miles in just a few short months.  How cool is that!?!?  I'm not sure what caused the switch to flip but what I know is that I have gone from "hope so" to "will".  My pink goal is getting close & crossing that finish line is going to feel amazing!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The question I'm asked the most: "What's your secret?"

Lately it seems I keep hearing the same question over & over.  "What's your secret?" People will whisper that question to me as if I'm hiding something from the world or they'll ask someone close to me looking to learn the "real reason" behind my decision to get healthy.  I admit this has shocked me.  Not sure that I ever thought anyone would ask that.  It's as if they're looking for a magic bullet or pill to make it easier. 

The truth is there is no secret.  It's good old fashion hard work.  Nothing glamorous...nothing spectacular...nothing special. We're talking about exercise & healthy eating habits.  I know that's boring & lacks pizazz but it really is a simple as that.  At least it sounds simple.  We all know that the hard part is committing to it & taking those first few steps each and every day.  Deciding to take care of myself & achieve my long time goal of completing the 3 day was simple.  Committing to it was the hard part.  It's what challenges me every day. 

Funny thing is that the physical strain seems so much easier than the mental changes & challenges in this.  I hear people say they're inspired by me or in awe of what I'm accomplishing.  While that's flattering it's not anything special.  It is simply the decision to make a change, to take care of myself, love myself, and give back to a cause so close to my heart.  Yes, I feel powerful & proud each time I meet a new challenge in this journey but it's nothing special.  Fighting cancer is special.  Putting on the brave face necessary to live through treatment is special.  Choosing to live is special. 

So in case you're wondering what my "secret" is to getting healthy, don't.  Instead look inside yourself  & find what makes you want to be better.  Commit to loving yourself enough to treat your body with respect & care.  Set goals that will push you to go just beyond what you think you can reach & reward yourself with healthy choices.  Remind yourself that eating right and exercising isn't punishment, it's how we take care of ourselves & how we build strong bodies/spirits that can take on anything.  And stop looking for "the secret" & instead simply do the work. 

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Redifining Femininity

I recently met someone who suggested that I could "put a little more effort into being feminine".  This was a first for me.  After all, anyone who meets me in person would tell you I'm incredibly feminine (aka "girlie").  I know this because after the shock of hearing this comment, I began polling my know those friends who love you enough to tell you the cold hard truth...the ones who love you enough to hurt your feelings if necessary.  This person went on to say that it had nothing to do with my appearance...that it was more about a quality that needed improving.   Sadly, his point beyond this wasn't articulated very well.  So I'm left to believe he was referring to the fall out that comes from being an "all around power chick", that gap that is between traditionally feminine women (after all, he is older & more traditional than me) & feminine women today.  So now I'm wondering, what is femininity?

Here's the Merriam Webster definition:  "the embodiment or conception of a timeless or idealized feminine nature".  Here's the Urban Dictionary definition:  "Of a woman. Traditionally, in most cultures, the expectation for a lady to be nurturing, demure, to care for her family, to look beautiful, and to be submissive to her husband(or girlfriend). But not all women are like that. More than enough women are strong, direct, and independent. What is feminine is what a woman does."  So they too are not talking about looks but rather qualities that equal femininity.  A certain "je ne sais quoi" if you will. 

I believe the women walking in the 3 Day are the perfect definition of femininity.  As we prepare for this life changing event we embrace & challenge who we are as individuals, as women.  We set out daily on a journey to find strength & hope, support & the opportunity to be supportive, encouragement & the responsibility of being the encourager, to find love for ourselves & for others.  We set a new definition of femininity that ironically has been timeless.  It's been there all along.  As women we support, encourage, laugh, love, embrace, drive, educate, & balance ourselves & others. 

We say that today we're standing up to make a change.  Femininity is BOLD just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is INSPIRING just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is CHALLENGING just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is ADVOCATING just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is DEPENDING on someone else when you need to just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is SUPPORTING others just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is BEAUTY just like the faces of those walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is EDUCATING ourselves & others just like walking in the 3 Day. 

Part of embracing femininity is realizing that others have opinions that aren't equal to ours & respecting them.  It doesn't mean we take those opinions as gospel but that we determine for ourselves how they impact us.  That's what I'm doing with the comments that lead to this post.  I'm grateful that someone helped me pause long enough to examine my femininity.  I like what I see & am even more proud today of my femininity than ever before.   

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"Flexibility is the key to a comfortable & happy life"

I have a new friend who said to me yesterday, "Flexibility is the key to a comfortable & happy life".  This has left me inspired.  Especially during a week when workouts seem to be getting derailed either because of a locked gym, a pesky blister, or oversleeping. 

Flexibility really is the key to attaining our 3day goals.  With a commitment like this we walk that fine line of structure in training & flexibility when things don't go along with the plan.  What makes a 3day walker different, "weird", is that ability to be not get bogged down by what life is throwing our way & to keep a commitment to ourselves to  We always keep our eye on the finish line.  We know that a missed workout doesn't mean we're a failure it means we're learning to balance all that comes with training.  We know that changing up a workout because of a closed gym means we avoid routine.  We know that having our feet up for a day because of a blister teaches us how to listen to our bodies & plan ahead to avoid it the next time.  There are so many lessons I've learned as I'm half way through training & today it's "flexibility is the key to a comfortable & happy life". 

Thursday, April 22, 2010

No excuses!

Have you ever encountered someone who has an excuse for everything?  Someone who always has an argument or justification for all of the things they can't do?  I encountered someone like this yesterday & it got me to thinking about why I don't make excuses.  More importantly why 3 day walkers don't make excuses.  The answer is simple.  3 day walkers simply expect more of themselves. 

As we lace up our shoes & step out to train each day we make a decision to put aside any excuses.  We choose not to listen people who say it can't be done.  We don't say that we're too tired even when we are.  We don't say that we're too busy even though we are.  We don't say our feet hurt even though they do.  We don't say that fund raising is too hard even though sometimes it is.  We simply say that we're honoring our commitment to ourselves & to others.  We say that we're willing to push ourselves to a place we weren't sure we could go to when we started.  We say that we're changing lives one step at a time.  We don't make excuses.  

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I always thought marathon runners were a little weird

I've always thought there was something a little different...a little weird even...about marathon runners.  Training for the 3 day has made me understand them a little better.  After all, the 3 day is the equivalent of 2.5 marathons in 3 days.  It's true that you have to be a little weird to commit to that kind of endurance event.  There's an entire mindset that comes from this kind of commitment.  A mindset that other people seem to be intrigued by while still wanting to not get too close to someone that "weird".  But I think I'm ok with being weird.  I'm ok with making the kind of commitment others won't.  I'm ok with putting in the hours to train that others won't.  I'm ok with looking at myself differently through the transition that's taking place.  I'm ok with the responsibility to myself and those who love me to train in a way that's healthy & smart (mentally, emotionally, and physically).  I'm ok with being accountable to my supporters & to myself.  Being weird is just perfectly ok with me. 

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

If you show up, life is beautiful

This morning I heard someone say, "If you show up, life is beautiful".  I couldn't have said it better myself!  What an amazing statement.  The person didn't say it would be easy or simple or stress free, she just said it would be beautiful. 

Along this amazing journey to reach my pink goal I am discovering beauty in so many things I hadn't before.  I've always known the beauty of giving back but I understand it more today than ever before.  I've discovered the beauty in setting a goal & working hard to reach it.  I've discovered the beauty in listening to my body, nourishing it with what it needs, in choosing less excess, in being BOLD, & in accepting opportunity when it presents itself.  I've even discovered the beauty in working so hard that your eyelids sweat.  What an amazing gift this journey is. I'm blessed to participate in the 3day.  The finish line is in site & reaching it will be a beautiful thing!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

This weekend I've had the opportunity to learn about a group called  What an amazing group of people! 

Here's the basics:  group of young people, a website, a video camera, and 14 days of traveling through Indiana to tell people about Komen & raise awareness about breast cancer. 

So freakin' cool!!! The even cooler part is that these are MEN talking to people about breast cancer!  Their putting aside their uncomfortable awkward feelings about talking to women about the breasts & getting out there to make a difference.  AMAZING! 

So amazing that you totally have to check them out at!!!

As for where I am on the journey to my pink goal.  I'm up to walking 7 miles per day, catching up with great friends who are willing to walk with me, learning so much about myself, and taking things one step at a time (literally).  I've lost almost 40 pounds while feelin stronger & more powerful then ever.  I have 7 months left until I reach my goal.  Its all happening so fast but I'm lovin' it!  Everyone's so encouraging & so motivating!  What a gift this entire journey has been.  I can see the finish line's going to be awesome!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Listening to my body even when I don't like what it's saying

Last night I walked 6 miles with my friend Steve in addition to spending about an hour on the bike.  This morning, I put in the hour on the bike & walked with my friend Amy after our board meeting.  I was hoping to put in another 6 miles but my knee told me otherwise.  As we walked our couple of miles, my knee started to feel better or at least went numb enough that I walked through the pain.  I wanted to keep going so badly but knew that my knee was telling me otherwise.  That competitive person in me wanted to just keep pushing through the pain but I had to remind myself that this training is a long process & that I can't get to 20 miles over night.  It was so hard to make myself stop & then to fight that defeated feeling that came when I did.  What I realized on the drive home was that today was a win because I listened to my body & am treating it with the respect/love it deserves.  Today I took my largest steps toward the finish line yet.  Crossing it's going to be great!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Managing the "transformation"

What an amazing weekend I've had!  It started on Thursday evening with dinner/drinks at Club Soda with friends.  Friday was low key (ok, so I was in bed early thanks to the night before) & Saturday was an amazing night at the Puttin on the Ritz fundraiser.  I haven't had that much fun in quite a while.  What an awesome night!  I put my sabatical from drinking on hold & kicked up my heels to celebrate.  I admit, today's workout was a tough one but it was worth it given the fun I had all weekend.  I guess you really have to pay to play sometimes. 

As a super social person, I'm often out with a variety of friends & am frequently being introduced to new fun people.  I love meeting new people & so appreciate how eclectic my circle of friends is.  People have always been warm and welcoming to me probably in part due to the fact that my personality sort of takes over.  Even if someone's uncertain about me, I tend to just assume they love me until they say otherwise.  Doesn't leave much room for dislike unless you really have reason to do so.  The funny thing is that lately I've been asking myself why people are being friendly or taking interest in me.  I find myself actually wondering if they would have taken interest 35 pounds ago.  Would they be as friendly?  as flirty? as fun? 

Let me say up front that I know how silly this thought process is but yet I seem to have these thoughts anyway.    I'm a pretty smart girl with loads of common sense & yet these thoughts are still creeping in.  Since I'm not one to keep my crazy thoughts to myself, I've confided in a couple of close friends.  My BFF says she saw this coming & is not surprised by it.  Her take is that I need to get these thoughts under control before they become something I can't control.  She's right.  My friend Steve is on the same page reminding me that I could make myself officially crazy if I let these thoughts continue.  Then there was Teresa's take on the whole thing that I found surprising.  I have changed.  Hmmm...that's an interesting thought.  Maybe people are different because this journey really is changing me. 

I need to point out the Teresa's on that short list of friends that can tell me things I don't want to hear & I listen because I know they're said out of love.  She pointed out to me that I've changed because I've let down the wall I've been putting up for all these years.  Wall???  I have a wall???  I'm the friendliest person I know!  She also tells me I'm getting softer (in personality that is).  Was I hard to begin with??? It's taken me a couple of days to even process this information.  Now that I've had time to think about it, she's right.  It hurt to hear that, but she's right.  I was so busy proving myself to others and to me that I probably was coming off a little hard.  Now that I'm focused on doing what is right for my health, listening to my body, and taking care of me inside & out, I am softer & more approachable.  Its still hard not to wonder if the weight was a barrier for some people.  However, the truth is that I have probably been the one that put the barrier there not the other people.  Some how it has been a "cushion" between anything negative people my think about me & how much that could hurt.  It's been my "go to" thing to blame.  If someone didn't like me or didn't ask me out or didn't treat me a certain way it was easy to blame the weight.  I'd say they just dont like me because I'm heavy even if they dont realize it.  Funny thing when you realize it probably had a lot more to do with the hard shell I presented than it did what the scale said.  That's an eye opener for sure.

 Brenda & Steve are right, I have to keep this in check or I'll make myself crazy throughout my journey.  So each day I'm reminding myself of the good I've done for myself and for those around me by working as hard as it takes to walk 60 miles.  I'm choosing not to believe anyone is so shallow as to just look at one attribute.  I'm choosing to believe instead that people are getting to know me for me.  Maybe the extra weight intimdated a few but I doubt it had much to do with it.  It all boils down to attitude & making a choice to be happy.  It's a journey I'm on and one I'm learning lots from!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Lesson #36

A few days ago I posted something I wrote on my 35th birthday.  It was titled, "The 35 things I've learned at 35".  People seemed surprised that I'd taken the time to write those things down.  Some were impressed while others were just amused.  Needless to say, I believe taking time to reflect without judgement on lessons learned is vital for moving forward to the next goal. 

With my 36th birthday tomorrow, I've been thinking about what I've learned in this past year.  No doubt, My Pink Goal has seriously impacted my year & the lessons learned.  And while the lesson I take away from this past year does have direct ties to completing the 3Day, its a lesson that has applied to all areas of my life.  So here it is....{drum roll please}

"Completing a goal is not nearly as impactful as the work necessary to attain it." 

Now don't get me wrong...I get teary just thinking about crossing that finish line hand in hand with some of the women I've loved the longest in my life.  However, that's just one moment.  Training for the 3Day impacts my entire life for the rest of my life.  This is a journey...this is a blessing of life lessons...this is a lifestyle....this is change....this is opportunity.  When we lace up our running shoes & hit the trail every day in training we're taking steps that create a ripple effect in the rest of the world.  It's hard to imagine that sometimes but its true.  We're standing up for those who we love who can't stand up for themselves.  We're standing up for ourselves....for our health....for our future & the future of others...for the opportunity to provide everyone the lifetime they deserve. 

Maybe it's the time that I have to reflect while putting in the hours of training necessary to attain my pink goal but training has impacted my life in such an incredible way.  My workouts give me time to think about what I'm really doing & how it impacts my life.  They give me the opportunity to reflect on what matters, sort out what doesn't, and even give me time to have a conversation with my inner Goddess (as my friend Bev would say).  Attaining this goal has allowed me to focus on nourishing my body physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Working to attain this goal gives me strength to say no to things that are bad for me physically, personally, professionally, or even physcologically.  It's even helped me take pleasure in saying yes to things that are good for me physically, personally, professionally, and even physcologically.  I guess you could say I've become a believer in the phrase "Life is the journey not the destination". 

Monday, March 8, 2010

Dancing was this weekend's cardio

This weekend I attended the Black & White International Ball.  It is always a great time & an awesome fundraiser supporting the Fort Wayne Urban League.  In fact, I participate in the planning of the event so it was extra special to see our community come out in support of a great cause.  As you can imagine it was a lot of planning & set up that morning before the big night.  Then of course the afternoon was spent with lots of prepping...nails, hair (that I worried mocked Ivana Trump), makeup (redone twice because I couldn't get it right), careful shaved legs, borrowing a great bracelet from a girl friend, and the perfect dress that I felt great in. 

I was ready and out the door by 5:30 but admit to being a little nervous.  My dress (see the pic of me cuttin'  a rug) was unlike anything I normally wear. It was a fitted & a burgendy jewel tone that was a bit bold for a black & white ball (I was the only one in color that night).  My incredible friend Steve often doubles as my personal stylist & as usual he was dead on about the dress.  It was a huge hit!  Everyone kept asking me what I was doing because I seemed to be "glowing" and looked great.  What an amazing feeling to know that I didn't just look like I dropped a few pounds but that what I was doing for myself in training for the 3 day is showing on the outside.  Talk about great validation! 

Steve & I danced all night as well.  At the Gala in November I couldn't keep up with everyone on the dance floor because I was simply too tired.  That wasn't the case this time!  We danced & laughed & felt great.  Trust me the next morning I realized the muscles used for dancing are different than the ones used for walking.  I felt it a little bit Sunday morning but still had the energy to head to Indy for a little birthday celebration with my family where the Cheesecake Factory is a tradition for my sister Bernadette & I who share a birthday month.  Yes, I did have their amazing cheesecake but this year we shared the FANTASTIC red velvet cheesecake instead of eating one by ourselves.  With B's wedding & the 3Day this year we were willing to splurge but stay in check.  It was perfect!  I love sharing my birthday with family especially when they haven't seen me in a while & can't stop commenting on how much I glow.  Selfish perhaps, but it felt great!  Almost as great as I imagine we'll feel crossing the finish line in October.  I can feel it!  It's gonna be great!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

35 things I know at 35

One week from today, I'll turn 36.  I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!!  It's such a great way to celebrate those who have blessed my life.  On my 35th birthday last year, I wrote & posted the "35 things I know at 35" to my facebook page.  I'm reposting it here as I think about the 36th thing I will add to it for this year.  You can bet it will have something to do with My Pink Goal!

As I reflect back on the last 35 years I realize I've learned a lot, experienced tons, and have even more living left to do. However, these are the top 35 things I know for sure as I turn 35!

1. I couldn't be where I am today without the support, encouragement, and honesty of those who have cared for me & loved me.

2. Family isn't about genes, blood lines, last names, or street's so much more than that.

3. If you're as lucky as I am to have the same BFF your entire adult life than take time every day to be thankful! Very few people get that opportunity.

4. I'm proud to be a feminist, pro choice, & liberal.

5. Great romances come in a variety of packages and aren't all meant to fact some are so short that you don't know how great they are until they're gone.

6. Having two sets of parents makes me twice as blessed...after all 4 parents who love you can never be a bad thing.

7. Fat really does look better browned/tanned.

8. A winning personality, solid common sense, & a killer smile will take you a lot further than book smarts & pieces of paper almost every time.

9. My grandmothers & mothers, all of them, are/were the most beautiful, talented, smart, outstanding women that ever lived.

10. My Dad is, was, and forever will be the first man I ever fell in love with.

11. The saying, "If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life" is crap. Loving what you do makes it easier to do the hard work it takes to make you great at it.

12. My nephew Caleb Michael Merritt is officially the most handsome man on earth.

13. My dads, grandfathers, brothers, uncles remind me all of the time what it means to be REAL MEN & I'm lucky to have them.

14. Perception really is reality.

15. Spell check is a gift from God.

16. The more grounded I become in my faith, the more open minded, liberal, and accepting I become.

17. It's ok to cry but not ok to wallow in self pity.

18. Men can really be just great friends without trying to take advantage of you.

19. Approach all you do with an honest heart & even being hurt wont seem as bad.

20. Forgiveness is more about letting go for you then it is for them.

21. Dignity, decorum, & political correctness are good things most of the time.

22. Following the advice of a friend who tells you that you need a vacation can change your life.

23. There's no better ice cream than Butter Pecan.

24. The person who told me "You're told yes so often that you notice when people tell you no" was right...even if I didn't admit it at the time.

25. Becoming a survivor instead of a victim all boils down to choice.

26. The women in my life really are the coolest chicks alive.

27. Red heads are simply as fabulous as you think we might be.

28. Making friends is the easy part...being a true friend can be a challenge but one worth doing.

29. Love doesn't conquer all but it does make you feel more deeply

30. Lingering over breakfast on the weekends is awesome. Staying in bed all weekend with a hot steamer lover is even better.

31. Never propose a problem without at least one suggested solution because problems without solutions are complaints. No one wants to hear you complain.

32. Go out and better the world. It will change your life.

33. Patience is a virtue given by God that should be practiced daily. However, God skipped me when handing out this virtue.

34. Love can come from the strangest & greatest of places but the best place is from within your own heart, mind, and soul.

35. I am simply blessed.

One of my greatest moments...

Sunday, February 28, 2010

15 minutes??? Hardly!

So after my walk today (I'm up to 5 miles!!!) I crashed on the coach & watched a little t.v.  I don't watch much t.v. but enjoyed an afternoon of "veggin'" on the coach.  So during the Law & Order SVU marathon (Christopher Meloni is sooo yummy) I saw the commercial for the USA characters of the year.  Kehinde Wiley was profiled for his art & portraits of young black men.  He paints portraits that speak to a variety of people & that celebrate the richness of American culture.  What caught my attention was when he quoted Andy Warhol as saying "Everyone gets their 15 minutes" and he replies "F* the 15 minutes, I'm going to give you a painting and I'm going to make you live forever."  Now I'm terribly sorry if that quote offends anyone, but I LOVED IT!  I mean who says we only get 15 minutes???  Warhol was brilliant, but 15 minutes?  Hardly!

I think we're all sort of saying "F* the 15 minutes" (some of us more politely than others) when we walk in the 3Day.  This isn't about short term gains that make people famous.  This is about giving back lifetimes & saying enough is enough.  Its about saying change starts with ME and the impact I make in taking those steps is going to last a lifetime.  Its about rolling up our sleeves, lacing up our tennis shoes, & changing our lives one step at a time.  Its such an honor to be able to be a part of this amazing event!   That finish line's in sight & I can't wait!!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Bringin' Sexy Back

On most days, I work out to an iPod play list of tons of upbeat music.  Its been said that I have a wide variety of tastes in music.  Everything from Kirk Franklin to Kid Rock to KD Lang to Kenny Chesney.  It's all on the workout play list & I couldn't live without it.  There's also a huge amount of 70's DISCO music like Tina Turner & Gloria Gaynor as well.  "I Will Survive" is often my motto for just getting through some of the tough workouts.  The song that always makes me feel my absolute best however is "Bringin' Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.  One day when I've completed the race & am able to meet Justin I'm going to thank him & tell him that he's helped me "bring sexy back" by getting me through training & reminding me just how sexy I am. 

Of course, this has me thinking about what it means to "bring sexy back".  I don't know what Mr. Timberlake would say, but for me its about a lot more than looks.  I find myself feeling sexier every day.  Does it come from the weightloss?  I'd be lying to say that isn't a small part of it.  However, I felt sexy before I started loosing the weight.  After all, women with curves are just simply HOT & plus size women who hold themselves with confidence are even HOTTER.  The amazing part is that even though I felt sexy I didn't feel healthy which took my level of confidence down a notch even though I didn't realize it.  What I think really brings sexy back is the confidence that being healthy brings.  Knowing I'm accomplishing a long time goal & that I'm giving back to my community brings that "sexy" glow from within as well.  Even my skin & my eyes seem to have a healthier glow which is way sexy too.  So whether or not it's Justin's definition of "Bringing Sexy Back", it's mine & it feels pretty darn good.  It's going to feel even better crossing that finish line I'm sure!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"If you want what others don't have, you have to do more than others are willing to do to get it"

My friend, Jonathan, shared this quote with me this week & it has made a major impact!  It's a quote he heard in the 4th grade & one he's lived by his entire life.  Its so simple & yet so true.  No wonder he's carried it with him all these years.

This motto is a natural fit to my pink goal.  After all, that's what we're doing right?  We're going after what others don't have and were working extra hard to get there.  What do we want when we participate in the 3Day?  We want that feeling that comes with knowing we did our very best & made a difference in the lives of so many.  We're willing to work harder than most people to achieve it.  Training is hard work.  Fundraising is hard work.  Staying focused is hard work.  Learning everything you need to know as a first time walker is hard work.  Balancing all of this is hard work. 

Just yesterday someone commented that this was CRAZY.  Yep, it is.  You have to be a little "crazy" to have the courage and compassion to meet this have something others don't.  At first when people starting saying things like that I was a little offended.  Not anymore.  Now I just realize I'm willing to do something they're.  The finish line is in sight & I know crossing it for the first time is going to be AMAZING!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

"Shopping is my cardio"~Carrie Bradshaw

Feb 21 2010

I am an avid Sex and the City fan & will even admit to quoting the show with friends often.  Well my quote of the day is from Carrie Bradshaw herself.  "Shopping is my cardio!"  Since I couldn't look at the treadmill another day and the weather is too "ify" to count on I decided to walk the mall instead.  It's a 1 mile loop around the mall so I did 4 miles.  I'm really at 3.5 miles per day this week but once I committed to the 4th lap it was hard to cut it in half.  It was an awesome way to window shop (the mall wasn't open yet) & imagine how great some of those styles will look on my healthier, firmer body.  Talk about motiviation!  That did it for sure.

After my walk was complete, my FABO friend Stephen met me and we shopped for a great new outfit for me.  I'm excited to share that I've been selected as one of Fort Wayne's top 40 business leaders under 40 which means there's a photo shoot in my near future.  I always turn to Stephen for assistance when it comes to looking my best.  He's that friend that always selects items that make people compliment me.  I trust his judgement totally!  We didnt find just the right look but did find a few additional pieces (in smaller sizes) that will be great additions to my wardrobe.  It feels great to be in smaller sizes including some of them in my own closet.  In fact, I wore pants on Friday that haven't seen the outside of my closet in 5 years.  While it's not the goal of "my pink goal" to loose weight or be more fashionable, it is a great side effect. 

Smaller sizes and bolder colors can't replace the glow I seem to be gaining from the confidence of feeling healthier.  That's what's so fulfilling!  The 3Day is giving me a chance to work at being my very best & that feels amazing.  With a goal bigger than myself it helps keep my focus in the right place.  Giving back to my community & raising awareness is what it's all about.  What a blessing to be a part of this!  Its like the smaller sizes and improved appearance is a bonus/a "thank you gift" from my body for doing something so BOLD & so CRAZY. 

As I was walking the mall today I kept thinking about what it was going to be like to walk with all of those AMAZING 3 day walkers & I couldn't help but smile.  I hear there are cheerleaders along the walk which there weren't in the mall so that will be a big plus!  I can't imagine what its going to be like to cross that finish line & know that we've met our goal.  My team is comprised of amazing women who I've been blessed to count as my friends for most of my life.  To do this together is going to be a highlight of my life I have no doubt!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Surrounded by bad stuff today

In my car as I type are the following items:  1 pound of DeBrands assorted gourmet chocolates, 4 gourmet truffles, 1 1/2 dozen Cookie Cottage Cookies, & 2 bottles of Casa Salad dressing.  I'm putting together a business thank you gift of local Fort Wayne items & had to pick everything up today.  In addition, I had lunch with a favorite friend who shares my love for McDonald's Diet Coke so lunch was fast food.  The good news is that I had a Happy Meal with a Diet Coke & apples & have steared clear of the sugar rush that is in my car.  I have had to ask myself 100 times today, "Is that bite worth wasted calories?"  Even if the answer had been YES (and DeBrands truffles are so worth it!) I still kept my cool & avoided them.  Today wasn't a day for cheating & as long as I have the will power I should use it I figure. 

I also had coffee this afternoon with a friend who I just adore.  He's great fun, wonderful energy, and cute too!  He seemed very impressed by my pink goal & all that I was working toward which made me feel great.  He commented as I was leaving that he was anxious to see the transformation as it takes place over these next several months.  ME TOO!  I never really thought about it until he said that, but this is a transformation for sure.  It seems to be transforming thoughts, my focus, my will power, my physical endurance, and even my physical body.  I'm starting to see some of the transformations inside & out & am still overwhelmed by the difference a few weeks & one big pink goal can make.  Who know all of this would come just from the decision to walk 60 miles???  What a great gift!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Taking Valentine's Day off...literally

It's Valentine's Day...a day of love and kisses and hugs and etc etc etc.  Given that I'm on sabatical from romance in general I decided to make this a day when I can just focus on me.  Although, I have to admit I met a handsome man on Friday that could make me rethink this sabatical however, I'm betting dates complete with walking for hours wouldn't be his thing.  So the sabatical will continue. 

I took today off from workouts as well as dates & decided just to spend some time on me.  Breakfast with a great friend & even a nap this afternoon has been wonderful!  Tonight it's pizza with another great friend relaxing and celebrating singlehood.  I also got a little shopping in today.  Funny thing is that I find myself looking for things like yoga pants, "wiking" socks, & running shoes.  This isn't exactly my former shopping patern.  With a passion for high heels & DK wrap dresses, I never paid much attention to the other things.  Funny how many things change when you take on the 3 day! 

Another cool change I've learned about this weekend is that most of my family seems to be jumping on the healthy bandwagon.  We rarely ever seem to be on the same page & we're a family that has struggled to find a healthy balance for as long as I can remember.  Even my grandparents are getting into the act.  No one's volunteered to join my 3 day team but I am excited to hear that they're focusing on taking good care of themselves.  We may be a fit family for the first time this year!  How cool would that be!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

In my prime?

So I should probably confess that I'm a closeted QVC AM Style watcher on Saturday mornings.  I think I've purchased two items from QVC in my entire life but for some reason I just love watching that on Saturday mornings.  And this morning Isaac Mizrahi was showing his new collection & I just love him too!  Double bonus! 

As I walked my 3.25 miles on the tread mill today, I was all smiles as I listened to Isaac talk about his collection, his inspiration, and what he thinks fashion for real women really is.  Then he said something that caught my attention...something still lingering with me tonight.  He said he designs clothes for women in their prime.  He said that he wants the women who wear his clothes to be in their prime of life regardless of their age.  So in his mind he's designing clothes for a 35 year old woman (what he feels society calls a woman's prime of life) even if the woman is 25 or 65...she should still feel like she's in her prime. 

Now I'm 35 (at least for a few more weeks) & I've never heard that I'm in my prime until today.  Quite honestly I had to look up the term just to figure out what that meant.  According to, the prime of life is the time of maturity when power & vigor are greatest.  According to merriam-webster, the prime of life is the most active, thriving, or satisifying stage of life.   This has me wondering:  is that where I am right now????  I know this pink goal thing is big but is it really where power and vigor are going to be at their max in my whole life???  I'm not so sure...

Of course this thought snowballed into another thought:  what's holding me back from being in my prime?  The obvious is that I was holding myself back by not living a healthy lifestyle & am now changing that.  But is there more than that?  I'm a smart, beautiful, outgoing, vibrant woman.  Why haven't I been living a healthy lifestyle?  I know what being unhealthy does to your body & to your mind, soul, and spirit.  Yet, I still waited till I was 35 to make a change.  So there's something else to it...something else that has kept me from my prime until now 

As I walked further I got to thinking about being a survivor.  I can't know what it is to survive something like breast cancer, but I do know what it is to be a survivor.  With my own scare with cervical cancer several years ago & a personal history that includes surviving sexual assault as a young woman & all of the turmoil that has come with I've done my share of surviving.  It struck me today that I spent a lot of years angry about being survivor.  Until recently (the last 18 months), I always wondered why I had to be the survivor.  Why do I have to keep going through these life lessons?  Another break up....a crushing industry/economy loss...not being able to have bioligical struggles...etc.   There were days I wondered what could possibly be next. 

Looking back on that time I realize that I spent a long time resenting the fact that I was a survivor.  I spent too much time in the "why me's" and too little time in the "what can I do about it's".  Then I moved here to Fort Wayne & began telling my story to people.  I began sharing with others what mattered to me & the lessons I've learned in being a survivor...big lessons like persistance, grace, drive, and good ol' fashion chutzpah.  Of course I've been masking a lot of this with food & with a desire to not be the center of things physically.  The good news is that it's changing thanks to my pink goal & all the good it's bringing to light.  Now maybe my physical ability will match the inner strength that I've been allowing other see for these last 18 months.  Now that's a kick ass combo....can't wait to cross that finish line.  It's gonna rock!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Paying rent

I heard a quote recently that said "Being an advocate is my rent for living on the earth".  I LOVE THAT!  More honest words have never been least not for me. 

As I was putting my 3 miles in on the treadmill today, I was watching Lady Gaga & Cindy Lauper on GMA talking about the new awareness campaign they are doing to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS among women.  The candid, straight forward approach that they both have is exactly what it means to be an advocate.  Being an advocate for women (or for another cause close to your heart) means standing up for your beliefs & for the protection/betterment of others.  It means being willing to have that straight talk kind of conversation with our friends and loved ones.  It means working together to stop the insanity that causes others to not achieve all they were put here to achieve.  It means standing up for people who can't stand up for themselves.  That's what makes me so proud of being part of the 3 Day.  This isn't about me...this is about advocating for kindness, lifetimes, and health.  What an honor it is to be a part of such a great event!

So as I mentioned, I'm up to 3 miles/day on the tread mill.  I'm also doing 9 miles/day on the bike hoping to build up my cardio strength.  Soon I'm going to have to start dividing my walks into morning and evening walks just because of the time committment.  Its amazing to think that by summer I'll be walking for hours on a Saturday or Sunday.  I can really see it in my future & that's something I never thought I'd see until now.  In fact, I saw a number on the scale today that I haven't seen in over 5 years.  WOOOOHHOOOOO!!!!!!!   No, I'm not doing this for the weightloss, but it sure is a nice side affect!  Since Jan 1 I'm down 21 pounds & am to a weight I haven't seen since my 30th birthday.  I really think the difference this time is that I'm doing this with a goal bigger than myself in mind.  I've always wanted to loose my weight to make myself more attractive, look better in clothes, get more dates (shallow I know), or fit in a new dressw.  It hasn't been until now that I've been able to get myself out of the way & start focusing on things that really  matter.  Things like ending breast cancer, setting an example for others on what it means to be healthy, and being an advocate (paying my rent) for men & women who are in the fight of their lives.  It's damn hard work...please dont get me wrong.  I want to quit at about 25 minutes on that treadmill every day but once I get past 30 minutes, I know I can do it.  Funny what a difference 5 little minutes can make.  I still hate sweating & still wish I was one of those women who "glisten" instead of looking but not smelling like I just stepped out of the shower.  I dont know if I'll ever love that part but what I know is that its part of reaching my finish line.  Today I can feel it...not just see it & I know it's going to be amazing!

Monday, February 8, 2010

blisters & a cold...agh!!!!

Feb 8, 2010

Its been almost  a week since my last post & that's because I've been in Denver on a little bit of business and a little bit of pleasure.  I have lots of amazing friends in the Denver area so it was great to extend my trip & spend a little time with them.  I managed to untilize the hotel gym & get up to 3 miles in each day on the treadmill and another 9 on the bike.  I learned the difference altitude can make for sure.  It seemed much harder in the "mile high city".  So those of you doing the 3 day in Denver have my total respect. You guys rock!

I also had my first experience with blisters this past week.  Thanks to the blister handbook on the 3 day training page, I knew what to do.  First thing I didn't do was pop it (something I used to do) and took the weekend off to let it heel.  I swear Komen thinks of everything.

By Sunday they were heeled & I was back to my workout tonight.  I'm learning that taking care of my feet is the most important part next to keeping my spirit motivated.   I never thought I'd come to know so much about shoes and socks and blisters and body glide and moleskin and sports bras.  People have been shocked by this.  As the girl who prefered cosmos to the treadmill most people thought I only knew about high heels and nail polish but I'm surprising even myself.  Everyone kept saying "Wow you're really serious about this"  HELL YES I'M SERIOUS!  No one commits to the 3 day half way.  This is the real deal.  We push ourselves so that we can take care of those we love the most & put an end to an illness that has taken too many lives. 

This transformation is more than I could have imagined.  I even worked out today while fighting a cold.  In the past it would have been the perfect excuse to give up but not this time.  I listened to my body but pushed a little too.  Didn't do the full workout today but did get it done.  Eating healthier is helping too.  This weekend while staying with a friend in Evergreen, CO I discovered rattle snake & Bison.  Yum!  Bison/Buffalo are super lean & full of protein.  They tasted good too.  Maybe its how board I get with a chicken breast but eating healthier has made me a little more adventurous.  Its just another great adventure in this journey.  And what an amazing journey it is!  There's that finish line...I can see it!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Doing something that matters

Feb 2, 2009

I can't help this morning but get excited about the opportunity that lies ahead.  Growing up my parents had two simple rules.  1. Never present a problem without at least one proposed solution 2. Go out and better the world.  I try to live my life with those rules in mind often & taking these steps each and every day is allowing me to amp that up in a big way.  What an amazing opportunity to leave a mark on the world we live make a do something that matters!  Yes, its crazy & courageous, bold & bewildering, empowering & endlessly challenging but its our opportunity to impact the world in a way that few can say they've done.  I'm so proud of the women that I'm walking with!  I'm blessed to surround myself with women (and men) who want to make a do something that matters.  Together we'll cross the finish line on October 31 and will have carved our initials on the world!!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

What's your Pink Goal?

Feb. 1, 2010

Its been an amazing first month of training to say the least!  With one month down and 9 months to go, I've been in awe of all of the support so many of you have provided.  I am blessed by each of you to say the very least.

As I started talking to people about "My Pink Goal" I've learned more & more about what other people's goals mean to them.  It turns out most of us have a "pink goal" of some kind.  Maybe it's to erradicate breast cancer....maybe its to walk a 60 mile race for the first time....maybe its to get up each day & live life to the fullest...maybe its something that can't be put into words.  Whatever your pink goal is you can rest assured its going to take planning and preparation to achieve. 

I'm really not a fan of "luck".  What I mean is that I dont believe too many people just get "lucky" or have everyting in life handed to them.  We all have things that come easier than others.  We all also have things we have to work toward to achieve.  So how do you go about achieving your goals?  The answer is simple.  Hardwork, dedication, and the willingness to NEVER GIVE UP!  Isn't that what breast cancer survivors do each day?   This morning on the tread mill as I was a little bored with walking for 50 minutes I started thinking about what it takes to persist through something like breast cancer.  Being a survivor is hard work.  Its much harder than completing the 60 mile.  So at least for these next 9 months as the training intensifies I'm going to be reminding myself that putting one foot in front of the other is the easy part.  We're blessed to have this opportunity to make a difference & give back to our take a stand against breast cancer.  The finish line is in site!  I can't wait!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

1 down 9 to go!

January 28, 2010

As I wrap up a very busy day & come to the end of a very busy week it has hit me that I have just nine short months until I reach my pink goal.  WOW!  That's sounds so far away until I think about all of the training that has to be done between now and then.  YIKES!  I know it's going to happen but its hard to believe I'll go from doing 2.25 miles per day to doing 20 miles in a day.  One step at a time...just one step at a time...

Thanks to the ecouragement of many, I'm working out each day even when I dont feel like it & am remaining true to a healthy balanced diet.  Its been shocking to me how easy it is to make healthy food choices when you look for them.  Yes...I'm still craving McDonalds (I was a fast food junkie!) & yes I miss having a cocktail when I'm out with friends but I feel so much better than before.  Just the feeling I have from not being winded makes a big difference. feels great!

So tonight as I head to bed early I realize I have 1 month of training complete & just 9 more to go.  In just 9 short months I'll know the rush everyone keeps talking about from doing the walk...the love everyone feels...the kindness everyone celebrates.  What a lucky woman I am.  I can see the finish line from here & it looks amazing!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Now I'm pumped!

January 26, 2010

I can't even begin to explain the high I'm on from everyone's facebook & blog comments!!!  Wow...what an honor to participate in all of this!  Such an amazing blessing!  If this is even a tiny bit of what the energy is from the actual event, then I'm hooked. Kindness really does rock!!!!

So here's a quick update before I head to my workout (this one's going to rock).  Fundraising has begun & I'm excited about it.  People just seem to be donating without much prompting.  I've started talking about it & some people chime in and say "I'd support you in that" so I send them an email the next day with the link so they can donate whenever it's right for them.  After all, it's just 23 friends who will donate $100 or 230 who will donate $10.  or 46 who will donate $50. 

As for my workouts, I'm up to 9.3 miles on the stationary bike & 2.1 miles on the treadmill.  I'm making sure I eat very healthy & am keeping track of what I eat/drink using an iPhone app called "My Fitness Pal".  I've lost 15 pounds just from making healthy choices & working out.  This isn't about the weightloss but I'll admit, it's a pretty cool side effect!  Now I'm even considering walking the Indianapolis Mini Marathon in May as part of my training.  If you would have told me in December that all of this would be happening I would have said you were crazy!  Funny how something as powerful as the 3 Day can change all that!  Makes it easy to see that finish line!  What an amazing day that will be!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

"Dream bigger than others believe possible"

January 23, 2009

I was listening to our Mayor, Tom Henry, give a speech to a group of business leaders this past week & I found myself inspired by this direct yet simple motto.  "Dream bigger than others believe possible".  I found it not only inspiring for my Fort Wayne community but also for myself personally.  After all, isn't that what we're doing when we say we're going to CURE breast cancer?  When we take those BOLD steps (many of us for the first time) we are saying that our dreams are bigger than anything breast cancer can take away from us. 

Just three short weeks ago, I decided to let myself dream pretty big by signing up for the 3Day.  Some people have called me crazy & others courageous but what I know is that it's time I start dreaming BIGGER than I have before.   Why should a woman who is 100 pounds over weight, who hates working out, and LOVES chocolate ever walk 60 miles???  The answer is simple.  Dreaming small for herself & others is OVER & it's time to unleash the possibilities of change!  The amazing part is that every 3 Day participant & supporter alike will prove just how possible it is to DREAM BIG just by being a part of this awesome event.  When we cross that finish line we'll be ready to take on the next big dream & believe in the possibilities of what the world has to offer.  What an amazing day that will be!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A rushed workout is still a workout right?

January 20, 2010

Do you ever have one of those days where it feels like no matter what happens you're 10 minutes behind?  That was my day for sure!  I woke up at 3 a.m. feeling like my bed was a little too big for just me & the cat.  Ok, so I was actually lonely...something that hasn't happened often since my divorce a couple of years ago but was for sure an issue last night.  With the dating "sabatical" that I'm on during my training....that's not going to change anytime soon.  The good news:  I finally curled up to a pillow & fell asleep.  The bad news:  I overslept.  More good news:  I went to the gym anyway but cut 10 minutes out of my cycling.  So it was 6.5 miles on the bike & 1.5 on the treadmill.  I thought that would help me gain the 10 minutes I lost but it didn't.  It's now almost 9 pm & I'm still chasing those 10 minutes from this morning. 

Here's the interesting part...I didn't let my crazy, fall behind day derail a workout or my eating plan.  I still ate healthy (Thank God for Special K Bars & Yoplait Smoothies that can be eaten on the run) & fit in most of my workout.  Normally my crazy life is an excuse for me to throw in the towel.  HA! I say to my old habits.  Today this was a win!  This is a day that I can say I made healthy choices for myself & feel confident I may make them for myself tomorrow too.  You can bet its going to be busy & chaotic as well.  Just a few more steps toward the finish line but even baby steps equal big gains!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm a Komen Ambassador!!!!!

January 19, 2009

I'm soooooo excited & super flattered!!! I was contacted today & asked to be a Komen Ambassador.  So what is a Komen Ambassador?  It's the person who speaks to the media & via social media about the 3Day.  Basically, it's doing what I'm doing right here on my blog & being willing to share my story with others.  I can't even begin to express how flattered I am to be asked.  It may seem simple or minimal to many but with a cause that I'm so passionate about, it means an awful lot to me! feels great to be in the right place on my journey at the right time. 

Even prior to hearing from the Komen team today, I was thinking about the "journey" that I'm on.  I've heard it said that the 3 day is actually the end of the journey & that the training is the journey itself.  I guess that's true.  I'm dedicating the next 9.5 months to getting ready for what is going to be 3 of the most powerful days of my life.  Learning to be kinder to myself, nourish my body in a way that is healthy, condition my body to handle the physical challenge ahead all make for an amazing journey.  These things build a tremendous road of hope as we get on toward that day.  My team mates & I are always chattering about the walk & what we're doing to get ready.  We're strengthening our relationships with one another while we strengthen our bodies, our hearts, and our minds.  All this because of one common goal...the concept even amazes me. 

So what if we all pick ways we want to improve our community/world around us & start working toward it?  Would we achieve even more of our goals?  Would the world really be a better place?  Would we really make a difference?  You bet we would & what an amazing change we would make!  The finish line is in sight for sure!!  I can feel it!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Everyone deserves a lifetime

January 18, 2010

"Everyone Deserves a Lifetime" is a Komen 3 day motto.  As we honor Martin Luther King Jr. today, I can't help but think about that motto.  Regardless the topic, everyone deserves the best lifetime possible.  As we push ahead in the fight against breast cancer remember that breast cancer does not choose one race, gender, or age group.  So we train & we walk not for "older" women who are facing illness but to give everyone a lifetime.  If we can find a CURE to breast cancer than others can't be far away.  Finding a cure provides an entire lifetime not only for those who have this disease but to those co-survivors who fight side by side with those they love.  So we move along our journey, one foot in front of the other knowing that the finish line is in site & thanks to the support from those we love we WILL make a difference.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The excitement is building

January 16, 2010

I realized today that we're just 9 1/2 months away from the 3 day.  It sounds like a long way away but it's really not.  Putting myself in the training mindset has time already flying by.  As our team grows & we're working toward our goals the excitement is building.  Each of us keep hearing about how this event will change our lives we'll never be the same after this event.  It's like knowing you're going to have the best birthday or Christmas simply makes me giggle w/ anticipation.  I can't imagine any other people I'd want to share this life change with then the incredible women who are planning to do this with me.  There's so much motivation in the friendships of women.  So much that can be shared & so much that is simply understood.  It's a gift to be able to cross that finish line with each of them knowing we've all done it for our own reasons & yet all had one common goal in mind.  Ladies, you make me blessed!  Can't wait to cross the finish line hand in hand with each of you!!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010


January 15, 2010

A very PINK thank you to Emily & Scott for donating!!!  We're on our way to meeting some really big goals & I promise to make you both very proud!!!!  WoooooWhooooooo!!!!!!!!

So, its fair to say that the last 36-48 hours have been a little stressful in my world which ALWAYS triggers stress eating for me.  I admit it, I'm an emotional eater & when I say "emotions" I mean every kind of emotion you can come up with.  So eating an entire chocolate cake or bag of chips or hanging out with Ben/Jerry is pretty normal for me.  Not this time however.  That's right!  In the last 48 hours there have been no junk food parades to the kitchen or cocktail pity parties.  Instead, I decided I would channel that energy into a good workout.  Yes, it was an extra workout but it certainly let out my frustrations in a way I didn't know I could.  Yes, I did get up the next day & workout so it really was a bonus workout.  I peddled away on that bike for 50 minutes before I realized it & had a clearer understanding of the roots of my stress.    I was still frustrated with recent events but found myself more equiped to deal with things.  Did I mention I dont have the guilt from eating a large bag of chips in addition to my stress???  This is a novel concept!  Work your stress out via sweating instead of via cake!  I know...the rest of the world likely already knows this but for me this is HUGE!  So from this point forward, Chocolate Cake is for celebrations, Martinis are for girls nights out, and chips are for 4th of July picnics. 

This all has me thinking about the choices we make that effect our lives without us realizing it.  I heard a man in the 3day video ( say "I had two choices, be here or not & I'm glad I'm here".  That says it all.  We have choices every day & I'm choosing to cross that finish line in October with some of the women I've loved the longest in my life.  We're going to make a choice each step of the way to raise awareness, funds, spirits, & help find a CURE.  That finish line is getting closer!!!  I can't wait!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Feelin' the burn...

January 13, 2010

So today I really felt the burn in my workout.  For the first day ever I was a little sluggish getting out of bed & could really feel it in my workout this morning.  I pushed through & even did 3/4 mile on the treadmill after my 9 mile bike ride.  No doubt it was worth the effort but I sure as heck didn't like much of it today.  And of course I looked even worse than normal...sweating like I was standing in the shower & breathing so heavily it should only be reserved for "fun activities" not of course there's the cute runner guy in the gym next to me.  Good thing I'm on sabbatical. :)

It has me to thinking about persistance & what it takes to push through something as serious as breast cancer.  I'm lucky, I've never faced my own mortality in that way but like most of us have pushed through my share of trials & troubles.  Some days you feel like you're standing strong after & some days you feel pretty shook up but either way, you make it to the other side.  That's what I want for my friends who have breast cancer.  I want them to know that even if things are bad now they can persist through such trama & come out on the other side a survivor.  Of course, I greatest wish is for there to be a CURE and nothing to be a survivor of.  So today's workout, sluggishness, & stressful work day seem easier to push through when I think about those who are working so hard to become survivors, simply to persist through another day.  But there's good news my friends...the finish line is in sight & thanks to great events like The 3 Day, we will cross that finish line with a cure.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

You said 6 miles right?

January 12, 2010

I have to giggle every time I tell someone I'm walking 60 miles for a CURE and they look at me and say, "You said 6 miles right".  I simply smile & say, "Nope I said 60" and they look at me like I've lost my mind.  This morning during my quiet time I've been thinking about the BOLDNESS that it takes to make a stand for anything your passionate about.  Whatever it may be it takes guts to stand up for what you believe in which is why I'm soooo honored to be part of this group of women and men who are taking this journey.  This is about making a mark on the world & letting people know you cared.  Leaving a legacy of empowerment...of kindness...of power coupled with compassion. 

Today I did my 30 minutes on the bike & walk .6 miles.  Its amazing to think that in less than a year I'll be walking so much more than that (I dont even know the math) & that the sense of accomplishment I have today will be amplified into something I can't express because I've done something so BOLD not for myself but for others & it happened to benefit me in the end.  What an amazing country we live in that we have the opportunity to be BOLD for our beliefs & our desires to end something so tramatic as cancer.  So if anyone's reading this, go be BOLD & find something that allows you the opportunity to make your mark on this world.  Find your finish line, see it, & reach it!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

And the walking begins...

January 10. 2010

I TOOK MY FIRST STEPS TODAY toward My Pink Goal!!!!  Yep, after 30 minutes on the stationary bike, I walked .5 miles on the treadmill at 3 miles per hour.  I know that sounds minor to many but for today it's a big win! My knee felt pretty good & I'll be getting up tomorrow to the same thing.  I haven't figured out how many miles it will take for me to train over the next 10 months to get ready for the goal, but I know today the real journey has begun.   So I start week 2 of training feeling energetic & healthier with a real sense of direction & an eye on My Pink Goal.  What a great feeling!  

Saturday, January 9, 2010

My eyelids sweat?

January 9, 2010

I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to today.  It's Saturday but not just any Saturday.  Its one of those cold, yet sunny midwest Saturdays where your calendar is still kind of clear because everyone's recovering from the holidays & your home is fairly clean from putting away the holiday decorations.  In short, there's little to do & little to be responsible for on this glorious January weekend.  Now it's important to know that I have a real dislike for cold & snow (& we have plenty of both) but for some reason this year it's not bothering me too much.  Its like I've come to an understanding that Mother Earth needs rest just as we all do before performing the various miracles we're called upon to do throughout the rest of the year.  There I go with the drama again...

Given my short to do list I decided to lounge a little & not get up at 6:30 like normal.  I gave myself an extra hour of down time before deciding I'd get my workout in and start the day.  I remembered something from my past workout life (many years ago) about weekend workouts.  Its a great time for that little extra when we'll push up those hills on the 3 day...a little extra effort or a few unexpected minutes of additional "oomph" because who cares if you're extra sweaty on a Saturday morning.  So I pushed adding extra speed and a few extra minutes to my workout.  It felt great I didn't find myself thinking about how soon it would be over or really about anything.  I was simply in the moment of pushing myself to my goal while rockin out to the Black Eyed Peas.  I was soaked from sweating in a gym that I thought was freezing cold when I walked into.  I was working out so hard I could feel my eyelids sweating.  Yes, my eyelids.  I had no idea that was even possible but there I was eyelid sweat & all.  I felt like an actual "fit person" know the kind of person who gets the rush from the workout & walks away soaked saying "THAT WAS AMAZING!" I don't even like those people...because who really likes that feeling????  But today, I was one of them & it felt pretty darn good. 

I took another important step in training for a 60 mile walk by getting fitted for the right shoes today.  I dropped in to the 3 Rivers Running Company here in Fort Wayne & met the nicest woman there named Pam.  Pam, my shoe expert, turned out to be another encouraging person on my journey to my pink goal.  As a woman with 100 pounds to loose & a love of 4" heels, a running store is not really a place for me.  And of course I pulled into the parking lot with a Saturday morning dad in his running gear, thin & looking like he could run the Boston marathon in his sleep, complete with the fit 7 year old in tow.  So I cautiously went in & to my surprise Pam approached me right away asking if she could help me.  She was friendly & didn't have the "what's the fat girl doing here" look on her face that I'd feared on my drive over there. Instead when I explained what I needed & why I needed it she was genuinely excited for me assuring me we could find something.  I had never really been fitted for athletic shoes before.  If you're working out at all, I highly recommend it.  For my entire adult life I've been wearing the wrong size shoe (1/2 to 1 size too small) & haven't been buying shoes that fit my newly discovered "low arch".  I also walk on the inside of my feet (something I learned while they vidoe taped my feet walking on a tread mill) & need a shoe that stabalizes my feet when I workout.  So now, thanks to Pam (who even invited me to send her pics of me completing My Pink Goal) I have shoes that fit & will support me through at least a portion of my training.  You can bet when I wear these out (approx 400 miles from now) I'll be back to see Pam again! 

So with errands ran, workout done, and a healthy lunch consumed (I resisted the McDonalds & the Starbucks that called out to me as I drove by) I've allowed myself an afternoon of catching up with my BFF & reading Elizabeth Gilberts new book, "Committed".  I love Eat Pray Love.  The amazing part is the amount of energy I have had on a Saturday that I've never had before.  It seems like it should be too soon for all of this energy, clarity, and enthusiasm but it's here so I'm enjoying it.  Yep, the journey to My Pink Goal is going to be great too!

Friday, January 8, 2010


January 8, 2010

Today I recieved some great news that additional donations are coming in.  I'm on my way to raising the $2500 for my pink goal!!!  More confirmation that the finish line is in site! 

As I peddled my way through this morning's work out, I realized there was something I hadn't mentioned on my blog.  When I decided to train, I decided to go on "sabbatical" from dating until I achieve my pink goal.  Sounds extreme & crazy doesn't it?  Well, perhaps it is but what I know is that as a 35 year old single woman the ups & downs of dating have added to my stress eating & unwillingness to workout over the years.  Let me rephrase...the way I've handled the ups & downs of dating has been by eating when I'm stressed, eating to celebrate, & slacking off on workouts over the years.  So for a while at least I'm going to work to channel the energy I've put into dating into training for my pink goal.  The more focused I can be during this time the better I figure.  I'm sure this will become a huge challenge eventually but for now its one more way I can see the finish line.  I soooo can't wait!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Some great tips I learned today & kudos to Ruby Tuesdays!

January 7, 2010

So one of the big challenges I'm going to have with keeping to a my healthy eating plan is my dining out every day.  Its taking a little extra planning & thanks to the "My Fitness Pal" app i've been pretty successful so far.  The really amazing part is how easy my waitor today at Ruby Tuesdays made it to eat healthy.  I was lunching with one of my fabo friends who I typically over indulge with but decided to try to be healthy.  I simply asked if they had a menu that showed the nutrition info of their menu.  He immediately went and found one for me & offered suggestions on things that could work for me that would taste good.  The final decision:  Herb Crusted Tilapia, Steamed Broccoli, and Rice.  It was delicious and it filled me up for the whole day!!  The best part was that the waitor was enouraging & helpful.  So awesome! 

I also learned some other great tips today from Dr. Oz on getting back on track after the holidays (or in my case after a long time away from workouts).

1.  Start Walking (CHECK)
2. Go public with your plan (CHECK)
3. Sleep (learned from the caffeine overload how important this one is)
4.  Fool yourself with water, mints, gum, etc when hungry (CHECK)
5. Automate your life/meals (currently doing this for breakfast & its a big help)

It's been 7 days today since I started keeping track of my food intake & have been working out for 5 days.  I'm eating healthy, sleeping, am not feeling hungry or deprived (ok-a little but nothing I cant handle), & have more energy than ever before on a program.  No doubt it's my pink goal & the overwhelming support of those who are in my life.  And a huge perk is that I've dropped 7.8 pounds to date!!!!  I know its mostly water and that weight loss wont continue at that pace, but man it feels GREAT to get a jumpstart like this!!!  I really can see the finish line in the distance!  This is going to ROCK!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Overloading on caffiene is a bad idea

January 6, 2010

So I mentioned yesterday that I avoided Cosmos last night & even ate healthy.  It turns out I made one mistake....every time I wanted a Cosmo, I had a Diet Coke.  What I didn't think about was that I'd be up 5 times that night from a caffeine overload.  It made for a early morning workout but I pushed through it & am destined to sleep good tonight! 

In my quiet time this morning after my workout a close family friend who recently passed away came to mind.  He was 17 & died from Cystic Fibrosis.  He lived life to the fullest & fought to have every last breath.  I have this photo of him at the lake last summer, arms in the air, on the back of the wave runner, as if to say "I did it!" It was the same summer he learned to waterski.  It has me thinking about the feeling that comes from striving for something so hard & finally earning the reward.  The feeling that our community will have when we find a CURE for cancer, the feeling that those who have been struggling as co survivors will feel to know that others wont go through the same struggles, and even the feeling I'll have when I reach my pink goal.  That feeling that forces you to throw your arms in the air & shout for joy uncontrollably...that feeling when you know the purest sense of joy.  Just 4 days into training & I can already start to feel it.  I'm beginning to think that the journey to get to my pink goal is joy in itself

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Great news!!!

January 4, 2010

So I'm super excited to learn today that one of my lifelong friends & her lil sis will be joining me for the 60 mile!  Plus, I have two donors as of today.  WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!  With a blog, a facebook fan page, & team, and now donors I'm full committed & it feels GREAT!!!! 

So I have to admit that today was a little harder to make the right choices.  I had lunch & dinner at two great restaurants, testing my will power.  I love Chappels & Club Soda so much but always over indulge when I'm there.  Well it turns out both have really smart, healthy choices that taste good!  Who knew!?!??!?  If eating healthy while eating out includes Grilled Salmon & veggies, Ahi Tuna & a little bread I might just be able to get used to it.  Did I miss the Club Soda Cosmo tonight?  You bet!  But it's too early for cheating & my indulgences will come on big days when I really feel the need...tonight wasn't that night. 

So Training Day 3 of My Pink Goal is coming to an end & people are talking.  Talking about the blog, about how cool they think this is, and what a great cause its supporting.  I was on the bike again today thinking of walking each step & what it will mean not just to me but to fighting for a CURE.  I'm thankful that so many have been supportive right away.  I'm a lucky woman! 

Monday, January 4, 2010

Training Day 2 & still at it!

January 4, 2010

So it's training day 2 toward My Pink Goal & I've successfully worked out & watched my diet.  Sadly, I've given up in less than 2 days before so this is a win.  I spent yesterday setting up this blog, my fundraising page (see link at the bottom of the page), & my Facebook fan page.  Yes, My Pink Goal even has a fan page.  I'm using the "My Fitness Pal" Ap for my iphone to keep track of workouts, weight, and what I'm eating.  Nothing like forcing myself to be accountable! :)

The coolest part to day two of my training is that during prayer & meditation today I was reminded of the need to not judge myself so harshly.  I've tried everything to get fit &/or loose weight, each time feeling like a failure.  But this time this goal is a lot bigger than me.  Again, dramatic I know but it is.  This is about giving back to the women in my life, to the health of our community, and to the amazing men who have supported the women in their lives through the hardships of breast cancer.  2 of my girlfriends have emailed today to say they're considering signing up in Chicago & one in Tampa.  Even if they choose not to complete the walk, I know they'll be there in support of me & that's waaaayyyy coool. 

So I wrap up day 2 slightly less judgemental of myself, feeling supported by so many of my friends/family, & a touch sore (thank God for Advil).  I can see my pink goal in the distance & know that its going to be awesome to achieve it!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Welcome to My Pink Goal!

January 3, 2010

It's Day 1 of both blogging & training & we're off to a smashing success!  I have a long way to go before I'm an expert at either one but for today we're calling it a win.  If you're following my blog thinking that I'm some expert walker with great knowledge, you'll be disappointed for sure.  I am 35 & rarely work out until now.  I never cook & eat out every day.  I easily have 100 pounds to loose & while beautiful am no where near ready for the cover of Self or for this walk.  I hope to share with you candidly my experience of making this life change...the good...the bad...and the sadly funny. 

It feels like I've entered a new phase or new way of thinking at least.  I know...very dramatic but it is kind of dramatic when I think about it.  I've been saying I would do this for years & something always seemed to derail my plans or should I say I let things derail my plans.  So this year, I've tidied up things in my life & am making room for my pink goal to become reality.  How awesome is that!?!?!?  I'm excited about raising money for Komen, the possibilities, life lessons, & direction completing this goal will provide. I admit I'm excited about the weight loss & improved body that will come from it as well. 

Day 1's training consisted of 30 minutes of cardio on the stationary bike.  According to it I went 6.39 miles & burned 327 calories.  I'm starting off on the bike to be sure my knee is completely heeled from twisting it a few weeks ago.  Soooo ready to be in better physical shape & not experience setbacks that come from being out of shape! 

The entire time I was thinking of the feeling I'll have when crossing that pink finish line.  I can't wait!