Sunday, February 28, 2010

15 minutes??? Hardly!

So after my walk today (I'm up to 5 miles!!!) I crashed on the coach & watched a little t.v.  I don't watch much t.v. but enjoyed an afternoon of "veggin'" on the coach.  So during the Law & Order SVU marathon (Christopher Meloni is sooo yummy) I saw the commercial for the USA characters of the year.  Kehinde Wiley was profiled for his art & portraits of young black men.  He paints portraits that speak to a variety of people & that celebrate the richness of American culture.  What caught my attention was when he quoted Andy Warhol as saying "Everyone gets their 15 minutes" and he replies "F* the 15 minutes, I'm going to give you a painting and I'm going to make you live forever."  Now I'm terribly sorry if that quote offends anyone, but I LOVED IT!  I mean who says we only get 15 minutes???  Warhol was brilliant, but 15 minutes?  Hardly!

I think we're all sort of saying "F* the 15 minutes" (some of us more politely than others) when we walk in the 3Day.  This isn't about short term gains that make people famous.  This is about giving back lifetimes & saying enough is enough.  Its about saying change starts with ME and the impact I make in taking those steps is going to last a lifetime.  Its about rolling up our sleeves, lacing up our tennis shoes, & changing our lives one step at a time.  Its such an honor to be able to be a part of this amazing event!   That finish line's in sight & I can't wait!!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Bringin' Sexy Back

On most days, I work out to an iPod play list of tons of upbeat music.  Its been said that I have a wide variety of tastes in music.  Everything from Kirk Franklin to Kid Rock to KD Lang to Kenny Chesney.  It's all on the workout play list & I couldn't live without it.  There's also a huge amount of 70's DISCO music like Tina Turner & Gloria Gaynor as well.  "I Will Survive" is often my motto for just getting through some of the tough workouts.  The song that always makes me feel my absolute best however is "Bringin' Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.  One day when I've completed the race & am able to meet Justin I'm going to thank him & tell him that he's helped me "bring sexy back" by getting me through training & reminding me just how sexy I am. 

Of course, this has me thinking about what it means to "bring sexy back".  I don't know what Mr. Timberlake would say, but for me its about a lot more than looks.  I find myself feeling sexier every day.  Does it come from the weightloss?  I'd be lying to say that isn't a small part of it.  However, I felt sexy before I started loosing the weight.  After all, women with curves are just simply HOT & plus size women who hold themselves with confidence are even HOTTER.  The amazing part is that even though I felt sexy I didn't feel healthy which took my level of confidence down a notch even though I didn't realize it.  What I think really brings sexy back is the confidence that being healthy brings.  Knowing I'm accomplishing a long time goal & that I'm giving back to my community brings that "sexy" glow from within as well.  Even my skin & my eyes seem to have a healthier glow which is way sexy too.  So whether or not it's Justin's definition of "Bringing Sexy Back", it's mine & it feels pretty darn good.  It's going to feel even better crossing that finish line I'm sure!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"If you want what others don't have, you have to do more than others are willing to do to get it"

My friend, Jonathan, shared this quote with me this week & it has made a major impact!  It's a quote he heard in the 4th grade & one he's lived by his entire life.  Its so simple & yet so true.  No wonder he's carried it with him all these years.

This motto is a natural fit to my pink goal.  After all, that's what we're doing right?  We're going after what others don't have and were working extra hard to get there.  What do we want when we participate in the 3Day?  We want that feeling that comes with knowing we did our very best & made a difference in the lives of so many.  We're willing to work harder than most people to achieve it.  Training is hard work.  Fundraising is hard work.  Staying focused is hard work.  Learning everything you need to know as a first time walker is hard work.  Balancing all of this is hard work. 

Just yesterday someone commented that this was CRAZY.  Yep, it is.  You have to be a little "crazy" to have the courage and compassion to meet this have something others don't.  At first when people starting saying things like that I was a little offended.  Not anymore.  Now I just realize I'm willing to do something they're.  The finish line is in sight & I know crossing it for the first time is going to be AMAZING!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

"Shopping is my cardio"~Carrie Bradshaw

Feb 21 2010

I am an avid Sex and the City fan & will even admit to quoting the show with friends often.  Well my quote of the day is from Carrie Bradshaw herself.  "Shopping is my cardio!"  Since I couldn't look at the treadmill another day and the weather is too "ify" to count on I decided to walk the mall instead.  It's a 1 mile loop around the mall so I did 4 miles.  I'm really at 3.5 miles per day this week but once I committed to the 4th lap it was hard to cut it in half.  It was an awesome way to window shop (the mall wasn't open yet) & imagine how great some of those styles will look on my healthier, firmer body.  Talk about motiviation!  That did it for sure.

After my walk was complete, my FABO friend Stephen met me and we shopped for a great new outfit for me.  I'm excited to share that I've been selected as one of Fort Wayne's top 40 business leaders under 40 which means there's a photo shoot in my near future.  I always turn to Stephen for assistance when it comes to looking my best.  He's that friend that always selects items that make people compliment me.  I trust his judgement totally!  We didnt find just the right look but did find a few additional pieces (in smaller sizes) that will be great additions to my wardrobe.  It feels great to be in smaller sizes including some of them in my own closet.  In fact, I wore pants on Friday that haven't seen the outside of my closet in 5 years.  While it's not the goal of "my pink goal" to loose weight or be more fashionable, it is a great side effect. 

Smaller sizes and bolder colors can't replace the glow I seem to be gaining from the confidence of feeling healthier.  That's what's so fulfilling!  The 3Day is giving me a chance to work at being my very best & that feels amazing.  With a goal bigger than myself it helps keep my focus in the right place.  Giving back to my community & raising awareness is what it's all about.  What a blessing to be a part of this!  Its like the smaller sizes and improved appearance is a bonus/a "thank you gift" from my body for doing something so BOLD & so CRAZY. 

As I was walking the mall today I kept thinking about what it was going to be like to walk with all of those AMAZING 3 day walkers & I couldn't help but smile.  I hear there are cheerleaders along the walk which there weren't in the mall so that will be a big plus!  I can't imagine what its going to be like to cross that finish line & know that we've met our goal.  My team is comprised of amazing women who I've been blessed to count as my friends for most of my life.  To do this together is going to be a highlight of my life I have no doubt!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Surrounded by bad stuff today

In my car as I type are the following items:  1 pound of DeBrands assorted gourmet chocolates, 4 gourmet truffles, 1 1/2 dozen Cookie Cottage Cookies, & 2 bottles of Casa Salad dressing.  I'm putting together a business thank you gift of local Fort Wayne items & had to pick everything up today.  In addition, I had lunch with a favorite friend who shares my love for McDonald's Diet Coke so lunch was fast food.  The good news is that I had a Happy Meal with a Diet Coke & apples & have steared clear of the sugar rush that is in my car.  I have had to ask myself 100 times today, "Is that bite worth wasted calories?"  Even if the answer had been YES (and DeBrands truffles are so worth it!) I still kept my cool & avoided them.  Today wasn't a day for cheating & as long as I have the will power I should use it I figure. 

I also had coffee this afternoon with a friend who I just adore.  He's great fun, wonderful energy, and cute too!  He seemed very impressed by my pink goal & all that I was working toward which made me feel great.  He commented as I was leaving that he was anxious to see the transformation as it takes place over these next several months.  ME TOO!  I never really thought about it until he said that, but this is a transformation for sure.  It seems to be transforming thoughts, my focus, my will power, my physical endurance, and even my physical body.  I'm starting to see some of the transformations inside & out & am still overwhelmed by the difference a few weeks & one big pink goal can make.  Who know all of this would come just from the decision to walk 60 miles???  What a great gift!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Taking Valentine's Day off...literally

It's Valentine's Day...a day of love and kisses and hugs and etc etc etc.  Given that I'm on sabatical from romance in general I decided to make this a day when I can just focus on me.  Although, I have to admit I met a handsome man on Friday that could make me rethink this sabatical however, I'm betting dates complete with walking for hours wouldn't be his thing.  So the sabatical will continue. 

I took today off from workouts as well as dates & decided just to spend some time on me.  Breakfast with a great friend & even a nap this afternoon has been wonderful!  Tonight it's pizza with another great friend relaxing and celebrating singlehood.  I also got a little shopping in today.  Funny thing is that I find myself looking for things like yoga pants, "wiking" socks, & running shoes.  This isn't exactly my former shopping patern.  With a passion for high heels & DK wrap dresses, I never paid much attention to the other things.  Funny how many things change when you take on the 3 day! 

Another cool change I've learned about this weekend is that most of my family seems to be jumping on the healthy bandwagon.  We rarely ever seem to be on the same page & we're a family that has struggled to find a healthy balance for as long as I can remember.  Even my grandparents are getting into the act.  No one's volunteered to join my 3 day team but I am excited to hear that they're focusing on taking good care of themselves.  We may be a fit family for the first time this year!  How cool would that be!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

In my prime?

So I should probably confess that I'm a closeted QVC AM Style watcher on Saturday mornings.  I think I've purchased two items from QVC in my entire life but for some reason I just love watching that on Saturday mornings.  And this morning Isaac Mizrahi was showing his new collection & I just love him too!  Double bonus! 

As I walked my 3.25 miles on the tread mill today, I was all smiles as I listened to Isaac talk about his collection, his inspiration, and what he thinks fashion for real women really is.  Then he said something that caught my attention...something still lingering with me tonight.  He said he designs clothes for women in their prime.  He said that he wants the women who wear his clothes to be in their prime of life regardless of their age.  So in his mind he's designing clothes for a 35 year old woman (what he feels society calls a woman's prime of life) even if the woman is 25 or 65...she should still feel like she's in her prime. 

Now I'm 35 (at least for a few more weeks) & I've never heard that I'm in my prime until today.  Quite honestly I had to look up the term just to figure out what that meant.  According to, the prime of life is the time of maturity when power & vigor are greatest.  According to merriam-webster, the prime of life is the most active, thriving, or satisifying stage of life.   This has me wondering:  is that where I am right now????  I know this pink goal thing is big but is it really where power and vigor are going to be at their max in my whole life???  I'm not so sure...

Of course this thought snowballed into another thought:  what's holding me back from being in my prime?  The obvious is that I was holding myself back by not living a healthy lifestyle & am now changing that.  But is there more than that?  I'm a smart, beautiful, outgoing, vibrant woman.  Why haven't I been living a healthy lifestyle?  I know what being unhealthy does to your body & to your mind, soul, and spirit.  Yet, I still waited till I was 35 to make a change.  So there's something else to it...something else that has kept me from my prime until now 

As I walked further I got to thinking about being a survivor.  I can't know what it is to survive something like breast cancer, but I do know what it is to be a survivor.  With my own scare with cervical cancer several years ago & a personal history that includes surviving sexual assault as a young woman & all of the turmoil that has come with I've done my share of surviving.  It struck me today that I spent a lot of years angry about being survivor.  Until recently (the last 18 months), I always wondered why I had to be the survivor.  Why do I have to keep going through these life lessons?  Another break up....a crushing industry/economy loss...not being able to have bioligical struggles...etc.   There were days I wondered what could possibly be next. 

Looking back on that time I realize that I spent a long time resenting the fact that I was a survivor.  I spent too much time in the "why me's" and too little time in the "what can I do about it's".  Then I moved here to Fort Wayne & began telling my story to people.  I began sharing with others what mattered to me & the lessons I've learned in being a survivor...big lessons like persistance, grace, drive, and good ol' fashion chutzpah.  Of course I've been masking a lot of this with food & with a desire to not be the center of things physically.  The good news is that it's changing thanks to my pink goal & all the good it's bringing to light.  Now maybe my physical ability will match the inner strength that I've been allowing other see for these last 18 months.  Now that's a kick ass combo....can't wait to cross that finish line.  It's gonna rock!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Paying rent

I heard a quote recently that said "Being an advocate is my rent for living on the earth".  I LOVE THAT!  More honest words have never been least not for me. 

As I was putting my 3 miles in on the treadmill today, I was watching Lady Gaga & Cindy Lauper on GMA talking about the new awareness campaign they are doing to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS among women.  The candid, straight forward approach that they both have is exactly what it means to be an advocate.  Being an advocate for women (or for another cause close to your heart) means standing up for your beliefs & for the protection/betterment of others.  It means being willing to have that straight talk kind of conversation with our friends and loved ones.  It means working together to stop the insanity that causes others to not achieve all they were put here to achieve.  It means standing up for people who can't stand up for themselves.  That's what makes me so proud of being part of the 3 Day.  This isn't about me...this is about advocating for kindness, lifetimes, and health.  What an honor it is to be a part of such a great event!

So as I mentioned, I'm up to 3 miles/day on the tread mill.  I'm also doing 9 miles/day on the bike hoping to build up my cardio strength.  Soon I'm going to have to start dividing my walks into morning and evening walks just because of the time committment.  Its amazing to think that by summer I'll be walking for hours on a Saturday or Sunday.  I can really see it in my future & that's something I never thought I'd see until now.  In fact, I saw a number on the scale today that I haven't seen in over 5 years.  WOOOOHHOOOOO!!!!!!!   No, I'm not doing this for the weightloss, but it sure is a nice side affect!  Since Jan 1 I'm down 21 pounds & am to a weight I haven't seen since my 30th birthday.  I really think the difference this time is that I'm doing this with a goal bigger than myself in mind.  I've always wanted to loose my weight to make myself more attractive, look better in clothes, get more dates (shallow I know), or fit in a new dressw.  It hasn't been until now that I've been able to get myself out of the way & start focusing on things that really  matter.  Things like ending breast cancer, setting an example for others on what it means to be healthy, and being an advocate (paying my rent) for men & women who are in the fight of their lives.  It's damn hard work...please dont get me wrong.  I want to quit at about 25 minutes on that treadmill every day but once I get past 30 minutes, I know I can do it.  Funny what a difference 5 little minutes can make.  I still hate sweating & still wish I was one of those women who "glisten" instead of looking but not smelling like I just stepped out of the shower.  I dont know if I'll ever love that part but what I know is that its part of reaching my finish line.  Today I can feel it...not just see it & I know it's going to be amazing!

Monday, February 8, 2010

blisters & a cold...agh!!!!

Feb 8, 2010

Its been almost  a week since my last post & that's because I've been in Denver on a little bit of business and a little bit of pleasure.  I have lots of amazing friends in the Denver area so it was great to extend my trip & spend a little time with them.  I managed to untilize the hotel gym & get up to 3 miles in each day on the treadmill and another 9 on the bike.  I learned the difference altitude can make for sure.  It seemed much harder in the "mile high city".  So those of you doing the 3 day in Denver have my total respect. You guys rock!

I also had my first experience with blisters this past week.  Thanks to the blister handbook on the 3 day training page, I knew what to do.  First thing I didn't do was pop it (something I used to do) and took the weekend off to let it heel.  I swear Komen thinks of everything.

By Sunday they were heeled & I was back to my workout tonight.  I'm learning that taking care of my feet is the most important part next to keeping my spirit motivated.   I never thought I'd come to know so much about shoes and socks and blisters and body glide and moleskin and sports bras.  People have been shocked by this.  As the girl who prefered cosmos to the treadmill most people thought I only knew about high heels and nail polish but I'm surprising even myself.  Everyone kept saying "Wow you're really serious about this"  HELL YES I'M SERIOUS!  No one commits to the 3 day half way.  This is the real deal.  We push ourselves so that we can take care of those we love the most & put an end to an illness that has taken too many lives. 

This transformation is more than I could have imagined.  I even worked out today while fighting a cold.  In the past it would have been the perfect excuse to give up but not this time.  I listened to my body but pushed a little too.  Didn't do the full workout today but did get it done.  Eating healthier is helping too.  This weekend while staying with a friend in Evergreen, CO I discovered rattle snake & Bison.  Yum!  Bison/Buffalo are super lean & full of protein.  They tasted good too.  Maybe its how board I get with a chicken breast but eating healthier has made me a little more adventurous.  Its just another great adventure in this journey.  And what an amazing journey it is!  There's that finish line...I can see it!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Doing something that matters

Feb 2, 2009

I can't help this morning but get excited about the opportunity that lies ahead.  Growing up my parents had two simple rules.  1. Never present a problem without at least one proposed solution 2. Go out and better the world.  I try to live my life with those rules in mind often & taking these steps each and every day is allowing me to amp that up in a big way.  What an amazing opportunity to leave a mark on the world we live make a do something that matters!  Yes, its crazy & courageous, bold & bewildering, empowering & endlessly challenging but its our opportunity to impact the world in a way that few can say they've done.  I'm so proud of the women that I'm walking with!  I'm blessed to surround myself with women (and men) who want to make a do something that matters.  Together we'll cross the finish line on October 31 and will have carved our initials on the world!!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

What's your Pink Goal?

Feb. 1, 2010

Its been an amazing first month of training to say the least!  With one month down and 9 months to go, I've been in awe of all of the support so many of you have provided.  I am blessed by each of you to say the very least.

As I started talking to people about "My Pink Goal" I've learned more & more about what other people's goals mean to them.  It turns out most of us have a "pink goal" of some kind.  Maybe it's to erradicate breast cancer....maybe its to walk a 60 mile race for the first time....maybe its to get up each day & live life to the fullest...maybe its something that can't be put into words.  Whatever your pink goal is you can rest assured its going to take planning and preparation to achieve. 

I'm really not a fan of "luck".  What I mean is that I dont believe too many people just get "lucky" or have everyting in life handed to them.  We all have things that come easier than others.  We all also have things we have to work toward to achieve.  So how do you go about achieving your goals?  The answer is simple.  Hardwork, dedication, and the willingness to NEVER GIVE UP!  Isn't that what breast cancer survivors do each day?   This morning on the tread mill as I was a little bored with walking for 50 minutes I started thinking about what it takes to persist through something like breast cancer.  Being a survivor is hard work.  Its much harder than completing the 60 mile.  So at least for these next 9 months as the training intensifies I'm going to be reminding myself that putting one foot in front of the other is the easy part.  We're blessed to have this opportunity to make a difference & give back to our take a stand against breast cancer.  The finish line is in site!  I can't wait!