Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Redifining Femininity

I recently met someone who suggested that I could "put a little more effort into being feminine".  This was a first for me.  After all, anyone who meets me in person would tell you I'm incredibly feminine (aka "girlie").  I know this because after the shock of hearing this comment, I began polling my friends...you know those friends who love you enough to tell you the cold hard truth...the ones who love you enough to hurt your feelings if necessary.  This person went on to say that it had nothing to do with my appearance...that it was more about a quality that needed improving.   Sadly, his point beyond this wasn't articulated very well.  So I'm left to believe he was referring to the fall out that comes from being an "all around power chick", that gap that is between traditionally feminine women (after all, he is older & more traditional than me) & feminine women today.  So now I'm wondering, what is femininity?

Here's the Merriam Webster definition:  "the embodiment or conception of a timeless or idealized feminine nature".  Here's the Urban Dictionary definition:  "Of a woman. Traditionally, in most cultures, the expectation for a lady to be nurturing, demure, to care for her family, to look beautiful, and to be submissive to her husband(or girlfriend). But not all women are like that. More than enough women are strong, direct, and independent. What is feminine is what a woman does."  So they too are not talking about looks but rather qualities that equal femininity.  A certain "je ne sais quoi" if you will. 

I believe the women walking in the 3 Day are the perfect definition of femininity.  As we prepare for this life changing event we embrace & challenge who we are as individuals, as women.  We set out daily on a journey to find strength & hope, support & the opportunity to be supportive, encouragement & the responsibility of being the encourager, to find love for ourselves & for others.  We set a new definition of femininity that ironically has been timeless.  It's been there all along.  As women we support, encourage, laugh, love, embrace, drive, educate, & balance ourselves & others. 

We say that today we're standing up to make a change.  Femininity is BOLD just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is INSPIRING just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is CHALLENGING just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is ADVOCATING just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is DEPENDING on someone else when you need to just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is SUPPORTING others just like walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is BEAUTY just like the faces of those walking in the 3 Day.  Femininity is EDUCATING ourselves & others just like walking in the 3 Day. 

Part of embracing femininity is realizing that others have opinions that aren't equal to ours & respecting them.  It doesn't mean we take those opinions as gospel but that we determine for ourselves how they impact us.  That's what I'm doing with the comments that lead to this post.  I'm grateful that someone helped me pause long enough to examine my femininity.  I like what I see & am even more proud today of my femininity than ever before.   


  1. Loved this post. I am woman, here me roar! :D

  2. OK...I loved this! I'm walking for the second year this year. Last year i walked in Dever this year i'll be walking in Dallas. I send out newsletters for my fundraising to family, friends and co-workers. Can i have your permission to use a portion of what you wrote? Obviously i will cite that i received it from you...

  3. I agreed with you!!! Michelle to do the 3Day for the cure is so amazing, it's so feminine...we are doing this with courage, proud, LOVE, intelligence, inspiration, challenging.... and more...Michelle good post!!!!

  4. Thanks Ladies! Vicky, feel free to use it & I appreciate you citing the blog! Good luck to each of you!